True Humility Defined – is it always Your Way or Yahweh?

This morning, during my morning devotional time with the Lord, I began reading the book of Esther. While most remember Esther for her striking beauty and ultimate favor with the king in that she saved her people, the Jews, from genocide, I noticed how God ordered her steps and used her uncle, Mordecai, to lead, guide, coach and direct her as far as how she should act, dress, and behave and it was her obedience to him (a keeper of the palace gates for many years who knew all of the ins and outs) which brought her to a place where she could receive favor with the King Ahasuerus and save thousands of lives. Mordecai was esteemed as a hero and Esther a virtuous, courageous queen all because of her initial act of humility by obeying the commands of her uncle (Esther 2:20).

Most people have a false definition of humility. Humility is not someone walking around with their head hanging down, letting others walk all over them while singing, “No body knows,” every other week. Humility is not someone who is quiet all the time – i.e. just because they’re quiet then they must be humble.

True Humility is simply walking in obedience to God.

It’s lifting up holy hands and saying “Yes, Lord” to a great God whom you trust with your life and all your decisions.

It’s going where He says go, and doing what He says do, without second guessing Him or questioning Him, but knowing that He loves you and only wants what’s best for you and believing that He holds your future and is the one who gives you peace and an expected end (Jeremiah 29:11).

Esther had to believe this to be true of Mordecai, the authoritave figure in her life who raised her since birth – she had to believe that Mordecai held her best interest at heart and that he truly loved her, so she obeyed his every command as to how to prepare to be presented to and ultimately chosen by the king with the ultimate goal of delivering the jews.

In a similar sense, you want to walk in humility towards God and in relationships.

Not saying one must exude force over another, for the Word says you are to submit yourselves one to another in the fear of God (Ephesians 5:21). What I’m speaking of is not always having to have the last say in an argument in order to “win.” Sure you may have gotten the last word in, but what kind of strain have your hurtful words now caused your relationship? The Word admonishes us that whenever possible, we are to follow peace with all men (Hebrews 4:12). Instead of getting up in some man’s face in order to prove a point, you want to follow peace, and take it to God first, and allow God to tell you how you should handle the situation.

Obeying God and seeking Him first is true humility.

As singles, the way we obey God and humble ourselves before Him may be an indicator of how we will behave in future relationships.

In other words, right now as a single, is it always Your Way or Yahweh?

Do you have to have your way all the time?

Can God trust you with seeking His face, reading His Word consistently and doing His will instead of your will? The more you spend time with the Lord in prayer, the more He may instruct you of certain things to do with your life, whether it’s cutting off certain relationships that you know aren’t from God, changing the words that come out of your mouth, or challenging not necessarily what you say but how you say it.

In prayer, remain open to the Spirit’s leading and ask God to search your heart and fix and cleanse you in any area. The Word remains us to examine ourselves in 2 Corinthians 13:5 (i.e. it’s not always someone else’s fault) and it is in that place of constant self examination and consistent obedience to God – which is true humility- that we will continue to have favor with God and man.

Kim Brooks, author of, How To Date and Stay Saved, and, He's Fine...But is He Saved? www.kimontheweb.com

7 Ways to Date and Stay Saved on Valentine's Day

It’s Valentine’s Day – the day when most normally celebrate with a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates, topped off by a romantic evening which may ultimately lead to the bedroom if the guy is lucky, right? Or so they say. What’s a Christian couple to do in a culture that promotes promiscuity and the notion that ‘sex sells’ with its many suggestive advertisements and other media?

In other words, how can a Christian couple date and “Stay Saved” on Valentines Day?

I’m glad you asked. In my new book, How to Date and Stay Saved, I answer this question and also explain how to date God’s way and in His proper order and how it is possible for a couple to meet, date, and enjoy a romantic relationship while not having sex until after he ‘put a ring on it’ and marries you.

Below I share 7 ways to date and “stay saved” on Valentine’s Day.

1. Date in Public.
Most people aren’t inclined to ‘get their groove on’ in a public place where the public is watching. Dinner and a movie on Valentine’s Day is nice and also romantic.

2. Date to encourage dialog.
As you date in public, gather information about the person you’re dating. Seek friendship before romance. Constant verbal communication during the date also helps prevent ‘holy hands’ from roaming.

3. Dress modestly.
Valentine’s Day is already set up to be a romantic night on the town, so the flesh is already ready to receive something even before the date begins; ladies, don’t give it any more stimulus such as wearing a low cut blouse exposing the girls or a super tight ‘booty hugging’ skirt. That man is already in a trance about how fine you are so don’t be a stumbling block to him during your date. As much as we love a nice compliment, focus on dressing modestly yet still attractive and stylish.

4. Turn Luther off!
As you and your date converse, there may be music playing in the background, such as during the car ride. Instead of playing “Maxwell” or something else meant to get you ‘in the mood’ instead play gospel music such as gospel jazz or praise and worship. Doing this sets the environment and it keeps your mind focused on above. I have a saying: Music is like a ride, it’s meant to take you someplace, so don’t allow the music you listen to during your date take you somewhere you don’t want to go.

5. View each other as brother and sister during your date.
Would you take your sibling home after a night on the town in order to ‘get it on’ like Marvin Gaye? Remember that you’re brothers and sisters in Christ, first, before you will ever be anyone’s spouse or bedroom partner so treat each other accordingly.

6. No ‘late in the midnight hour’ dating at home.
As tempting as it may seem, and no matter how fine he may look especially after he ‘wines and dines you’ (with sparkling apple juice, of course) on your date topped off with a serenade by the lead singer at the restaurant as your date professes his love for you in front of a bunch of strangers, don’t invite that man inside your home afterwards, and by all means, don’t go to his place. The night has been too perfect and the holiday is already set to be topped off with a roll in the hay. Instead, after you date in public, once he takes you home kindly thank him for a wonderful night and get inside!

7. If you insist on continuing the date after he has dropped you off at home, call or text him.
That way you can still verbally communicate with each other and finish your date, instead of having him come over and you wake up in the morning regretting what went down the night before.

Kim Brooks is the author of, How To Date and Stay Saved. Visit www.DateAndStaySaved for free gifts and excerpts.

Kim Brooks, author of, How To Date and Stay Saved, and, He's Fine...But is He Saved? www.kimontheweb.com

Dr. King and Coretta – 2 Destinies, 1 Dream

Did you know that Coretta Scott King initially didn’t like Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
because she thought he was too short?

She then went on to say that the more she went out with him and got to know him,
the more she liked him. She discovered that his life’s mission to fight for freedom
and equality was similar to hers. Already an accomplished concert performer, having
graduated from Antioch, Coretta was asked by Dr. King if she could see herself
married to a Southern minister. She figured that if she did, she would have to take on
the role as a preacher’s wife and he would want a wife to come home to, and not one
off traveling doing concerts in different countries. So she had a choice to make.

She chose Martin.

And boy did she make the right choice!

Not only was she able to accomplish her dream in assisting him with the fight for
equality, but a lot of times as they toured different countries, such as their trip
to India in 1959, she was invited to sing for many groups in cities, towns, and villages
throughout India. Hence both their dreams came true – together. (Vivian, Octavia.
Coretta, The Story of Coretta Scott King. Mnneapolis, MN: Augsburg Fortress, 2006.)

Single people, it is so important that you find out where your potential mate is headed
in life. Find out their dreams; find out their purpose; and see where and if you would fit.

Ladies, talk about that man’s life mission, and see if you can “see yourself” fitting
into that puzzle being his helpmeet.

For example, if the two of you are at a restaurant and he tells you he’s called to
live in Africa for 10 years on the mission field, and you can’t see yourself willingly
going along with that man helping him (and not grumbling and complaining about the
living conditions or insects) then don’t waste that man’s time or yours. Don’t determine
in your mind that you’re going to marry him, then try and talk him out of it after
you’re married.

That’s not right.

We live for our dreams, and shattering one’s dreams is like shattering a person’s soul.

Instead of misleading someone for the sake of “having a good man,” simply tell him you’re
not called to Africa, and decide to be just friends or go your separate ways.
The man God has for you will come along in due season. Just be patient, know what you’re
looking for, know what your dream is (i.e. know your own purpose and work on it now while
you’re single), then when you meet the next one, talk about the direction your lives will
be headed. Talk about the present, talk about the past, and talk about the future.

Amos 3:3 says, Can two walk together, except they be agreed?

Marriage is a collision of two destinies and two dreams, working together to make them
come true, which leads to total fulfillment.

It’s not enough that that person is “saved” and that’s it. What’s their mission?
What’s their dream? What’s their purpose? And can you see yourself walking with that
person on this journey called life together?

Just think if Coretta would have written Martin off because he was too short?

It would have been a huge mistake.

Try not to write someone off because of superficial attributes one can’t change such as
their height or complexion.  As believers, we’re supposed to be more concerned with the
heart, right? But how many people actually take that into consideration when choosing a
mate?

Not saying that the person has to be totally unattractive to you. You want someone who
is pleasing to your sight, especially since this is the person you’re going to wake up to
every morning. All I’m saying is, when considering someone, consider their integrity,
their character, and their purpose in life.

In doing so, you may meet and marry your dream man or woman, and you two can then make
each other’s dreams come true together.

Kim Brooks, author of, How To Date and Stay Saved, and, He's Fine...But is He Saved? www.kimontheweb.com

This Christmas. . .

*Call an out of town relative you haven’t spoken to all year and tell him or her, “I love you.”

*Bake cookies with your nieces and nephews and cherish the smiles on their cookie
battered faces.

*Laugh at “Cou’n Pete’s” jokes even though he’s been telling the same ones for the past
eleven years.

*Smile when your great aunt Sally gives you that same type of sweater she gives you every
year, fluffy shingles and all.

This Christmas enjoy time with family, friends and loved ones, and if you find yourself
“boo-less” this year with no special someone in your life, know that you are special to
someone, and His name is Jesus Christ. He loved you so much that He gave His very best to
you and shed His blood for you -- now that’s love, baby, no man can top that!

Join me in celebrating His miraculous birth today as HE IS the real reason for the season!

“For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given:  and the government shall be upon his
shoulder:  and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The
everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.”
-Isaiah 9:6

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Kim Brooks, author of, How To Date and Stay Saved, and, He's Fine...But is He Saved? www.kimontheweb.com

Seasons Change – Will You? 8 Ways…

Fall is here! Fall is one of my favorite seasons because I get to enjoy the beauty of God’s creations as leaves change from bright yellows, to dark oranges and even deep reds, squirrels scurry to save food for the winter, and birds flee.

Fall is a season of change.

It’s a perfect time to re-evaluate our lives and see areas where we can
improve, or even change if necessary.

Written as affirming statements, this month’s eNewsletter focuses on 8 things in your
life that can be changed right now.

1. My attitude. I will change my attitude about life and how I define true happiness.
Happiness is not defined by my present circumstance, marital status, bank account, or
station in life, happiness is defined by simply knowing that my life and lifestyle
pleases my Master, Savior, and Creator, God. Happiness is defined by that inward witness
that comes with knowing I am at peace and at one with God, and knowing that God loves and
accepts me for who I am and that I love Him with an everlasting love because He first
loved me.

2. My outlook on life. God has prepared and laid out a great future for me. The plans
He has for me are of peace and not evil, so that I can have an expected end.
The goodness God will bring to me during this season of change is to be expected,
because I realize that every good gift comes from above. As I continue to run to Him
in prayer and praise, seeking guidance and direction from above and not because of my own
selfish ambition, He will reveal His plans, purposes, and the secret things He has for my
life as long as I continue to have faith and believe that He wants what’s best for me and
has my best interest at heart.

3. My walk. No longer shall I walk with my head down in shame feeling “less than”
because no one is claiming me as their significant other. I will change the way I walk.
I will walk with my head up and shoulders back, knowing that I am a child of the most
High God and part of a royal priesthood. I don’t have to settle for relationships with
unbelievers because whoever I walk with, we, two shall walk in agreement and harmony.
My relationships will compliment who am I and help bring out the best in me – the God in
me. If they don’t, and if they hinder me and my relationship with God, then I chose to
walk alone. Then again, with Him I’m never alone, and me and my God can walk alongside
each other, hand in hand, fulfilling His perfect will and the plan that He has for my
life.

4. My talk. I will change my words, which changes my environment and my outcome. I will
put away lying, swearing, and foolish, unfruitful conversations that only berate others.
I will no longer make negative confessions such as there are no good men out here, or
all the good ones are already taken; I will instead confess that there are plenty good
men out here and who God has for me is for me! I speak life over myself and others,
I see myself as God sees me, and I call myself wonderfully and fearfully made because He
says so. I am beautiful. I am a woman after God’s own heart. I am desirable. I am
lovely. I am all whom God says I am.

5. My mind. I will continue to allow the Word of God to transform my thinking into the
way God thinks. No longer will I allow society or others dictate how I should formulate
my opinion on certain issues. As I read and meditate God’s Word, then His will becomes
my will. I love what He loves, and I hate what He hates. I hate lying because He hates
lying. I hate a proud tongue because He hates a proud tongue. I value and treasure life
because He values and treasures life. I hate sin because He hates sin. I will change
my mind and believe that God’s perfect will in regards to my life and relationships is
the best for my life because I believe Him and His Word to be true for me.

6. My perception of myself. No longer will I perceive myself to be, “not wife material,” or not worthy of God’s love or love from someone else. I forgive myself and I
forgive others from past mistakes and pain, and I will go forward knowing that my past
does not define me nor dictate my future but that God defines me and determines my
destiny based on His Word. No longer will I be in bondage to past self perceptions or
self-esteem issues or perceived failures while growing up. I am free to forgive those
who hurt me or failed to teach me and lead by example, and I will allow the Comforter,
in the form of the Holy Ghost, to teach me how to become that virtuous woman and
eventually that virtuous bride who is a crown to her husband and will do him good and
not evil all the days of his life.

7. My relationship with God. I will grow stronger and get closer to God with each
passing day. The more I read His Word, the more I become like Him. I will begin, and
not end my day with God. I will start off by praising and thanking Him, which will
lead into prayer. In my personal prayer closet where I normally meet with Him, I will
receive and fulfill instructions from Him which I will carry out to the full.
I treasure and protect my relationship with God more than any other relationship
in my life, and will put Him first in everything.

8. My destiny. Day by day, as I seek His face and allow Him to order my steps, I
realize that with each day that I am one step closer to my destiny. I will not
participate in sin for a season which will cause my destiny to be placed on hold or
get off track, but I will continue forward in the plan that God has for my life,
remaining sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit and being prayerful about
every relationship along the way. In doing this, my destiny will become His destiny,
and the ultimate plan for my life, and I have joy knowing that my path is like a
shining light, that shineth more and more, brighter and clearer unto the perfect day.

Recite This Over Yourself Today!

Scripture References:

1. 1 John 4:19
2. Jeremiah 29:11, James 1:17
3. 1 Peter 2:9, 2 Corinthians 6:14, Amos 3:3
4. Ephesians 4:22-27, Psalm 139:14
5. Romans 12:2, Proverbs 6:16-19
6. John 14:26, Proverbs 12:4, Proverbs 31:12
7. Psalm 63:1
8. Psalm 119:133, Hebrews 11:24-25, Proverbs 4:18

Kim Brooks, author of, How To Date and Stay Saved, and, He's Fine...But is He Saved? www.kimontheweb.com