Lord, Where's My Mate?

Have you ever cried out to God like that? “Lord, where is my mate?!” Have you ever been
mad at God because it seems like He’s blessing you in every other area except the mate
department? Before you’re so quick to say, “no,” examine yourself and honestly answer
that question. While you’re answering that question, ask yourself why you want to get
married so badly? Is it companionship – physically and emotionally? Is it because you
want someone to ‘help pay these bills’? Ladies, is it because you need a man to be a
father figure because the ‘baby daddy’ is no where to be found? Is it because you want
someone to buy you nice things, make you laugh, and make you happy? Is it because you
want someone to call your own? If you notice, all of the previous responses have one
thing in common – they all involve pleasing oneself.

Me, Me, Me, Me, ME!

However marriage, the way God intended, is all about pleasing the other person.
1 Corinthians 7:32-33 says, But I would have you without carefulness. He that is
unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please
his wife.

When you get married it’s not all about you anymore . . . it’s all about that other person
you said, “I do” to.

This is why it’s so important for single Christians to get it right, right now, as a
single by maintaining pleasing God as your #1 priority as 1 Cor. 7:32 indicates.
A lot of times, how you remain faithful to God will determine how you will remain
faithful to your future spouse. You remain faithful to God by showing Him you love Him
by keeping His commandments (John 14:15). One of His commandments is to abstain from
sex before marriage (1 Thessalonians 4:1-4). By consistently disobeying this commandment
with an unrepentant heart proves that you are cheating on and being unfaithful to God -
and He’s supposed to be the one you really LOVE!

God has commandments such as, “no sex before marriage,” not because He’s punishing you, but because He’s protecting you.

He loves you so much that He wants what’s best for you, and He wants to bless you out of
this world – but His hands are tied if you refuse to obey and serve Him.

While as a single Christian your life’s aim should be to please God, your desire, as
a married person should be to please your spouse.

When you marry it proves that God trusts
you enough to take all of that selfless love that you have for Him and for others and
transferring that love to your spouse. Two married people’s aim should be to live each
day living to please and serve one another. Your attitude, when you wake up, married
believer, should be to look at that person next to you, the one God blessed you with,
and say, “What can I do to serve you today?” Besides, that’s what God did for us, when
He sent Jesus to die for us on the cross – and that was the Ultimate act of service.
And in Ephesians 5:25 God compares man’s love for his wife as Christ’s love for the
church! Hello!

So I’ve said all this to say, single believer, instead of crying to God about where your
mate is, make sure you are in a position where you are ready to receive your mate, and
that you are fully aware of what it means to be married. A suggestion would be to talk
to a happily married couple, preferably one that’s been married for over five or ten
years, and ask them to share with you some nuggets about how they keep their marriage
strong. Don’t expect them to tell you a whole lot, but hold on to what they are willing
to share. And of course, seek God’s Word ultimately as the final authority on the best
way to please Him and your future mate, because God’s Word contains the answer to
everything.

Are You REALLY Trusting God?

Most of you are familiar with this famous passage of Scripture:

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

I can hear some of your thoughts now, “I know. I know. How many times do I have to
hear that Scripture?” But even though you may have heard it, and may even know it by
heart, have you really received it?

When I think of the word, “trust,” I think of an absolute confidence in. I have
absolute confidence in the fact that when I enter a movie theater and have a seat,
the seat won’t break underneath me. I trust so much that I don’t even bother to check
and make sure it’s firmly affixed to the floor. If I did folks would probably look at
me like I was crazy, because they trusted so much that they, too, sat right in their
seats without thinking about it twice as well.

The word, “trust” in the original Greek of this passage of Scripture means,
“batach,” which means to be confident, bold, or sure. As single believers, we must
learn to be confident, bold, and sure in the Lord about everything.

The Scripture also admonishes us to trust in the Lord with all of our heart. Not
just part of our heart. Not just one part which says, “I trust you Lord,” while
the other part says, “but what if I never get married?” or, “what if I never meet
the right one for me since the odds are stacked against me?” or, “what if I get
too old and men would no longer find me attractive?” These heart confessions are
filled with fear which is contrary to faith, belief, and trust. And we know that
God is not the author of fear, but that He is the author and finisher of our faith.

The second part of the verse 5 says, …and lean not unto thine own understanding.

The Message Bible states in its translation:

…don’t try to figure out everything on your own.

Don’t try and figure out why you’re still single while getting yourself all stressed
out and blood pressure rising because you feel your time is running out or your
biological clock is ticking. Sometimes we put ourselves in such a rut feeling sorry
for ourselves -- thinking we must not be wife material -- or, “if only i looked a
certain way i would be married by now,” -- or, “if only I lived in a different city
I would be married by now,” -- or, “if only i went to a different church i would be
married by now,” -- and on and on and on…

Instead of chasing a man, we should be focused on chasing God and the perfect will
of God for our lives.

This is not to say that there is anything wrong with desiring a mate; we just have to
be careful not to allow our “desire” to turn into an anxiety or care, because God
wants us to cast all of our cares on Him. He bore all of our cares for us when He died on
the cross. (Isaiah 53:5)

He wants us to be content where we are right now in our current station in life, and
He wants us to celebrate the birth, death, and resurrection of His Son, Jesus, not
just on Resurrection Sunday (aka Easter), but every day of our lives.

He wants to resurrect our joy. He wants to resurrect our peace. Jesus died so that we
might have joy, and that our joy might be full -- whether we’re single or married.
(John 15:11)

So instead of asking yourself if you’re really trusting God for a mate, instead ask
yourself if you’re really trusting God with your life.

Expectation Fuels Your Faith

Expectation fuels your faith.

Faith requires action, while expectation is the reaction to the action.

Faith is the belief in the unseen, and faith without works is dead.

Once you pray and ask God for His dream for your life, then obey His instructions,
and expect God to move on your behalf.

Just like a car needs gas in order to drive, your faith needs expectation in order
to drive you towards your destiny.

Webster’s Dictionary, 1828 edition, defines expectation as the act of expecting or
looking forward to a future event with at least some reason to believe the event
will happen.

Look forward to your future.

Look forward to fulfilling your dreams and expect them to come true.

Obey God, every step of the way, without wondering, “When, Lord, when?”

Don’t get impatient or anxious.

Continue sowing seeds of preparation, continue doing the work, continue helping
others with their dreams, and your set time will arrive in due season.

Believe it will happen for you.

There is a whole world out there waiting to be blessed and inspired by your gifts
and talents, so believe God will make a way for you.

He will open doors, and He will make it happen while you obey, in faith, expecting.

Expectation is an attitude.

Everyday, say to yourself, “I expect to win.  I expect to succeed.”  If you’re believing God
for a mate, say, “I EXPECT to be married one day!”

Even if years go by and you don’t see it, continue plowing, and
continue saying, “I expect to be used by God.  I expect the favor of God to rest upon me.”

Keep your faith charged up while expecting the manifestation of
God’s divine destiny for your life.

Scripture References:
Hebrews 11:1
James 2:17
Proverbs 4:18
1 Thessalonians 5:24

Forget the Past and Press On!

God has an expected end for you. God desires to give you hope in your final outcome.
Just because a relationship may not have worked out the way you thought it should
have, don’t get into condemnation or shame because God tells believers in Romans 8:1 that
there is therefore now no condemnation to to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk
not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

Anytime you miss it, which you may because no one is perfect, be sure and sincerely
repent before God, which means to not just apologize but to confess and turn away from
the sin, and God will honor your heart.

No matter what you may have gone through in the past, no matter who may have hurt or
disappointed you, and no matter how many mistakes you may have made, as long as you
repent before God He will clean your slate and reposition you as if you never got off
track in the first place.

The most important thing, as you go forward in your walk with Christ, is that you forgive
yourself and press on.

Sometimes, as believers, we beat ourselves up because we made a mistake, or because we
allowed our burning desire for a mate to lead us into the arms of someone who may be
saved, yet not for real, but know that if God says that as far as the east is from the
west that He has forgiven your sins, then who are you not to forgive yourself?

Don’t listen to the enemy’s lies when he reminds you of your past mistakes and throws
images in your mind of past rendezvous with the “wrong boos.” The enemy’s goal is to
steal, kill, and destroy, whether that means stealing your joy, or stealing your peace of
mind.

So as you continue in God’s presence, and as you ask God to show you what you should learn from past relationships, allow Him to give you the oil of joy for mourning.

Don’t get stuck in a rut about the past; speak to God about it, forget it, and press on.

The apostle Paul put it best when he said, in Philippians 3:13, “…this one thing I do,
forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are
before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.”

Know that God has a divine plan and purpose for you, and that He wants to fulfill it, as
long as you keep your mind stayed on Him, forget the past, and press on.

Praise Break:

Lord, When Will I Be Chosen?

As single saints, a lot of us desire to be chosen by our mates. You may have friends
who are now married off or getting married this summer and you wonder, “When is it
going to be my turn? When will I be chosen?” or you may be in a situation where you’re
recently divorced so you no longer feel chosen any more, or maybe months or even years
have gone by and a man of God may not have even approached you or expressed interest, or,
for the men reading this, you may have been rejected time and time again, so much so that
you don’t feel chosen either.

The word, chosen, from Webster’s Dictionary, 1828 edition, means selected from a number,
picked out, taken in preference, and elected.

Even though you may not have a physical manifestation of that highly coveted wedding ring,
it doesn’t mean that you haven’t been chosen.

God chose you before the foundation of the world. He chose to love you, in spite of your
flaws. He chose to be with you, in spite of your imperfections. He chose to send His Son,
Jesus, to die for you even before you were born. Even while you were yet in your mother’s
womb, God had you on His mind. Even before you really came to know Him, or when you
lived a life as if He wasn’t even there, He still sent His Son Jesus to die for you.

God selected you, He picked you out, He preferred you, and He elected you.

He chose to accept you as you are, and He has promised to never leave you nor forsake you,
no matter how much you miss it, or how many times you make a mistake; He’s always a
forgiving God, always ready to receive you again with open arms.

So never feel discouraged because you feel others have been chosen while you haven’t.
Know that you have been chosen by God, and to be chosen by God is the best honor and
privilege there will ever be, for His love and His mercy endures forever.
According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we
should be holy and without blame before him in love.
Ephesians 1:4