Speak Over Yourself

Sometimes, as singles, it can be pretty easy to feel a little -- “less than.” You may feel sad, discouraged, or alone because of your current status in life as a single. Sure, you hear a good Word on any given Sunday morning, but by Sunday night you may wish that pillow you held on to was actually another warm body. What do you do when you get in a funk and the preacher isn’t there to stir you up and the organist can’t play a song to get your hands clappin’ and feet a’tappin? You encourage yourself.

When the enemy sends you thoughts about how you’re not worthy of anyone or not worthy to be loved or that you’ll never get married, counteract act his thoughts with your own words OUT LOUD. As believers, our words have power, more power than any demon in hell, so when we speak out loud, we command authority, in Jesus Name, and we also edify or build up ourselves at the same time.

So the next time negative thoughts come into your mind, or the next time you feel discouraged, speak over yourself out loud. Say things like, “Thank You, Lord, for I know that I am Your prized possession and that You made me wonderfully and fearfully made. I am worth the wait and what you have for me is for me in Your season in my life. I shall not fear and I shall not doubt Your Word and with You I am never alone. You made me worthy in You, You’re the lover of my soul and my very best friend who causes me to win every time. I am special because You made me special. I am worthy of love because you first loved me, so much so that You sent Your very best in the form of your Son to die for me and rise again so that I might have joy and so that my joy might be full. I speak joy over myself today. The joy of the Lord IS my strength. You are my joy, my shelter, and my refuge in the time of storm. And I thank and Praise You Lord for all these things and more, in Jesus Name.” Remember, don’t just read these words -- speak it over yourself OUT LOUD and I GUA-RAWN-TEE you’ll feel a lot better afterward.

Kim Brooks, author of, How To Date and Stay Saved, and, He's Fine...But is He Saved? www.kimontheweb.com

Right Relationships – Right Now

Out of all the 12 married couples that I interviewed for my newest book, How To Date and Stay Saved who remained abstinent with each other until marriage – all of them share another common thread – they all admit to being friends before lovers.

I also explain, in the book, how it’s so important that every new relationship begins with a friendship foundation. During a recent singles conference at my church, one of the guest ministers, Bishop George Davis (a happily married man of 16+ years), explained the importance of building friendships and the importance of fellowship as not just single believers but as believers, and how your current friendship relationships can determine how you will behave in a marital relationship.

His words bring to mind the following examples: if you have problems with forgiving friends and others for their wrong doings, then you may have problems forgiving your future spouse when he gets on your nerves…and most married people I talk to say the “nerve getting on” is an inevitable part that goes right along with living with a fallible human being, especially of the opposite sex. Some married couples I talk to explain how they have to learn to walk in forgiveness each and every day with their spouse.

Forgiveness is a supernatural concept that you really have to tap into the love of God to bring forth, and it’s also a heart issue. For instance, sometimes you may think you have forgiven someone, but then you see that person from afar and all kinds of feelings bubble up on the inside then you realize you haven’t forgiven that person at all. If you still see the person who wronged you and still want to wring their neck or dangle them off the side of a building, then you may need to go back and check your forgiveness meter.
As believers, we have within us the ability to forgive each and every person. Romans 5:5 says, “…the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.” Once we received the Lord in our hearts the Holy Ghost comes to live inside us – all we need to do is activate the forgiveness that’s already within.

In addition to walking in forgiveness, we also want to walk in love with our friends.

You don’t want to hold anger or resentment with your closest friends, and you also want to observe how you resolve conflicts with them. If you’re mad at your girlfriend (or shall I say friend that’s a girl) do you punish her by not speaking to her for a week? Just imagine how damaging that would be if you were to get mad at your spouse and not speak to him in a week. And then the very day you decide to stop holding that grudge against him is the day he gets killed in a car accident, and all your can remember is your last words to him were, “I’m not talking to you anymore.” Not wishing that on anyone as that would be totally devastating, how much more then should we not harbor resentment with anyone, including our friends, family members and significant others (…let not the sun go down upon your wrath Ephesians 4:26)

Do you run from conflict, or do you address it and approach it in a peaceful or unassuming matter? Are all your friends “yes men” who agree with everything you have to say, or do some of them challenge your opinion or may not agree with you every time, but the two of you still know how to cordially and politely ‘agree to disagree.’

So, with all relationships, learn to agree to disagree in a civil manner, practice walking in love and forgiveness at all times, and you may notice how the way you treat others spills over into your dating relationship and eventually your marriage.

Kim Brooks, author of, How To Date and Stay Saved, and, He's Fine...But is He Saved? www.kimontheweb.com

True Humility Defined – is it always Your Way or Yahweh?

This morning, during my morning devotional time with the Lord, I began reading the book of Esther. While most remember Esther for her striking beauty and ultimate favor with the king in that she saved her people, the Jews, from genocide, I noticed how God ordered her steps and used her uncle, Mordecai, to lead, guide, coach and direct her as far as how she should act, dress, and behave and it was her obedience to him (a keeper of the palace gates for many years who knew all of the ins and outs) which brought her to a place where she could receive favor with the King Ahasuerus and save thousands of lives. Mordecai was esteemed as a hero and Esther a virtuous, courageous queen all because of her initial act of humility by obeying the commands of her uncle (Esther 2:20).

Most people have a false definition of humility. Humility is not someone walking around with their head hanging down, letting others walk all over them while singing, “No body knows,” every other week. Humility is not someone who is quiet all the time – i.e. just because they’re quiet then they must be humble.

True Humility is simply walking in obedience to God.

It’s lifting up holy hands and saying “Yes, Lord” to a great God whom you trust with your life and all your decisions.

It’s going where He says go, and doing what He says do, without second guessing Him or questioning Him, but knowing that He loves you and only wants what’s best for you and believing that He holds your future and is the one who gives you peace and an expected end (Jeremiah 29:11).

Esther had to believe this to be true of Mordecai, the authoritave figure in her life who raised her since birth – she had to believe that Mordecai held her best interest at heart and that he truly loved her, so she obeyed his every command as to how to prepare to be presented to and ultimately chosen by the king with the ultimate goal of delivering the jews.

In a similar sense, you want to walk in humility towards God and in relationships.

Not saying one must exude force over another, for the Word says you are to submit yourselves one to another in the fear of God (Ephesians 5:21). What I’m speaking of is not always having to have the last say in an argument in order to “win.” Sure you may have gotten the last word in, but what kind of strain have your hurtful words now caused your relationship? The Word admonishes us that whenever possible, we are to follow peace with all men (Hebrews 4:12). Instead of getting up in some man’s face in order to prove a point, you want to follow peace, and take it to God first, and allow God to tell you how you should handle the situation.

Obeying God and seeking Him first is true humility.

As singles, the way we obey God and humble ourselves before Him may be an indicator of how we will behave in future relationships.

In other words, right now as a single, is it always Your Way or Yahweh?

Do you have to have your way all the time?

Can God trust you with seeking His face, reading His Word consistently and doing His will instead of your will? The more you spend time with the Lord in prayer, the more He may instruct you of certain things to do with your life, whether it’s cutting off certain relationships that you know aren’t from God, changing the words that come out of your mouth, or challenging not necessarily what you say but how you say it.

In prayer, remain open to the Spirit’s leading and ask God to search your heart and fix and cleanse you in any area. The Word remains us to examine ourselves in 2 Corinthians 13:5 (i.e. it’s not always someone else’s fault) and it is in that place of constant self examination and consistent obedience to God – which is true humility- that we will continue to have favor with God and man.

Kim Brooks, author of, How To Date and Stay Saved, and, He's Fine...But is He Saved? www.kimontheweb.com