Believe Again in 2010!

A video clip aired recently on ABC Nightline stating that 70% of black women are single and that there are over 1.8 million more black women than black men. It also reports 42% of black women have never been married, and that a large number of them will remain single as there are currently 12 women to every 1 black male.

Upon first reading that report it’s easy to feel disheartened and get in a funk. However, we must remember that based on the billions of people in the world, as you believe God for a mate, remember -- You only need one. Also, I want to submit to you, to counteract their report -- “Whose report, will you believe?”

Sometimes when you’ve been single for so long you begin to get comfortable in your singleness.

I remember speaking to a wonderful woman of God who was in her early forties and still single saying, “I’ve just given up.” I was crushed listening to her words because, to me, was she not only giving up on ever being married, but she was also giving up on the one thing that we, as believers, should never, under any circumstances, give up on -- and that’s hope.

It’s quite alright to desire marriage, and it’s even okay to believe it can happen for you. However, you don’t want your desire, to turn into an anxious care (Philippians 4:6), or even a want.

The Word of God reminds us in Psalm 23:1, The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.

The word, “want,” in this passage of Scripture means, “to fail, want, lessen, (have) lack, make lower, want.” In other words, it indicates that something is missing in one’s life, however with God on your side you already have every thing you could ever need.

Instead of “wanting” a mate, I submit to you that you instead, “expect” a mate.

Expect God’s promise to come to pass in His season for your life since He promised to give you the desire of your heart in Psalm 37:4 as you continue to delight in Him. A lot of times, if you’re seeking the face of God and in His presence in prayer consistently, then it’s He who put the desire for marriage in your heart in the first place.

Expect God to be true to His Word and see yourself that blushing bride on your wedding day, and even, see yourself, now, as that virtuous woman and loving wife who is a crown to her husband who will do him good and not evil all the days of his life (Proverbs 12:4, Proverbs 31:12).

Envision and become her now, as you believe God for a mate, and in the meantime become the best you today and use this year to really focus on what God has called you to do and get to know your Heavenly Father even more this year through prayer, praise and worship, and service to Him and His people.

Become as much like Jesus as you can this year -- no, not so you can snag a man, but so that God will be pleased with you and so your life will be fulfilled.

Don’t be hopeless, don’t give up on hope -- again remain hopeful and stay in a state of expectation that God will do what He said He would do in due season as you really trust, depend on, and rely on Him.

Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;)
-Hebrews 10:23

Click here to view the much-talked about video clip:

Kim Brooks, author of, How To Date and Stay Saved, and, He's Fine...But is He Saved? www.kimontheweb.com

Dr. King and Coretta – 2 Destinies, 1 Dream

Did you know that Coretta Scott King initially didn’t like Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
because she thought he was too short?

She then went on to say that the more she went out with him and got to know him,
the more she liked him. She discovered that his life’s mission to fight for freedom
and equality was similar to hers. Already an accomplished concert performer, having
graduated from Antioch, Coretta was asked by Dr. King if she could see herself
married to a Southern minister. She figured that if she did, she would have to take on
the role as a preacher’s wife and he would want a wife to come home to, and not one
off traveling doing concerts in different countries. So she had a choice to make.

She chose Martin.

And boy did she make the right choice!

Not only was she able to accomplish her dream in assisting him with the fight for
equality, but a lot of times as they toured different countries, such as their trip
to India in 1959, she was invited to sing for many groups in cities, towns, and villages
throughout India. Hence both their dreams came true – together. (Vivian, Octavia.
Coretta, The Story of Coretta Scott King. Mnneapolis, MN: Augsburg Fortress, 2006.)

Single people, it is so important that you find out where your potential mate is headed
in life. Find out their dreams; find out their purpose; and see where and if you would fit.

Ladies, talk about that man’s life mission, and see if you can “see yourself” fitting
into that puzzle being his helpmeet.

For example, if the two of you are at a restaurant and he tells you he’s called to
live in Africa for 10 years on the mission field, and you can’t see yourself willingly
going along with that man helping him (and not grumbling and complaining about the
living conditions or insects) then don’t waste that man’s time or yours. Don’t determine
in your mind that you’re going to marry him, then try and talk him out of it after
you’re married.

That’s not right.

We live for our dreams, and shattering one’s dreams is like shattering a person’s soul.

Instead of misleading someone for the sake of “having a good man,” simply tell him you’re
not called to Africa, and decide to be just friends or go your separate ways.
The man God has for you will come along in due season. Just be patient, know what you’re
looking for, know what your dream is (i.e. know your own purpose and work on it now while
you’re single), then when you meet the next one, talk about the direction your lives will
be headed. Talk about the present, talk about the past, and talk about the future.

Amos 3:3 says, Can two walk together, except they be agreed?

Marriage is a collision of two destinies and two dreams, working together to make them
come true, which leads to total fulfillment.

It’s not enough that that person is “saved” and that’s it. What’s their mission?
What’s their dream? What’s their purpose? And can you see yourself walking with that
person on this journey called life together?

Just think if Coretta would have written Martin off because he was too short?

It would have been a huge mistake.

Try not to write someone off because of superficial attributes one can’t change such as
their height or complexion.  As believers, we’re supposed to be more concerned with the
heart, right? But how many people actually take that into consideration when choosing a
mate?

Not saying that the person has to be totally unattractive to you. You want someone who
is pleasing to your sight, especially since this is the person you’re going to wake up to
every morning. All I’m saying is, when considering someone, consider their integrity,
their character, and their purpose in life.

In doing so, you may meet and marry your dream man or woman, and you two can then make
each other’s dreams come true together.

Kim Brooks, author of, How To Date and Stay Saved, and, He's Fine...But is He Saved? www.kimontheweb.com